The Family of God

 

Rev Dr Mark Porizky

 

7/9/06

 

Ephesians 2:11-23

 


 

So then, remember that at one time you Gentiles by birth, called “the uncircumcision” by those who are called “the circumcision”—a physical circumcision made in the flesh by human hands—remember that you were at that time without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.  But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.  For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us.  He has abolished the law with its commandments and ordinances, that he might create in himself one new humanity in place of the two, thus making peace, and might reconcile both groups to God in one body through the cross, thus putting to death that hostility through it.  So he came and proclaimed peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near; for through him both of us have access in one Spirit to the Father.  So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are citizens with the saints and also members of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the cornerstone.  In him the whole structure is joined together and grows into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom you also are built together spiritually into a dwelling place for God.

 


The family is not necessarily an easy subject to talk about these days. As the comedian, the late George Burns, once noted, "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family...in another city."

 

We know that the family has changed a great deal. The old "Ozzie & Harriet" model of Dad going off to work, Mom staying home and waiting for the kids to return from school is now more nostalgia than reality—only a tiny percentage of America 's families fit that picture; most do not


      In preparation for this morning's message, I reread a sermon by that great English preacher of the past generation, Leslie Weatherhead. In a message called "What is God's Plan for the Family," delivered shortly after World War II, Rev. Weatherhead  despaired over a report from the Marriage Guidance Council, which produced their report in June of 1945.  Rev. Weatherhead noted that the Marriage Guidance Council lamented that TEN PERCENT of marriages were finishing in the divorce court and that the figure would be TWENTY percent if separations were included.

 

Talk about a different era.  We know that ONE-HALF of the 2.4-million-or-so marriages to be performed in our nation this year will end in divorce. And some 25 percent of Anglo children, 35 percent of Latino children, and 60 percent of African-American children are being raised by single parents.  

 

But let’s not look back on the past and too hastily call those the “good old days.”  Divorce may be more prevalent, but I don’t think that means families were better fifty years ago. 

 

I spoke with someone this past month who told me about her family.  Her mother endured numerous affairs by her husband, always feeling trapped by a society that blamed the woman for a divorce.  When this woman was fourteen, her mother could stand the pain no more and killed herself.  Her father, one week later, brought into the house his new bride, and couldn’t understand whey this woman was so troubling to his kids.  At eighteen this woman left the house for good when the step-mother started charging her rent to live in the house.

 

Beware of romancing the past, whatever else we can say about families, past or present, we certainly can say that the family DOES need help.

      Yet people do not even agree on what constitutes a family anymore. Sometime back a national insurance company, State Farm, requested that 1200 randomly selected adults define the word `family.'

 

Surprisingly, only a small number, 22%, opted for the traditional definition: `a group of people related by blood, marriage, or adoption.' A much larger percentage, nearly 3/4, chose a much broader definition: `a group of people who love and care for each other.'"

 

If people are not even certain what a family IS anymore, what does one say about the Christian Family? 

 

 Perhaps the best thing to do is to see what the Bible says about the Christian family, and then discover what that might mean for you and me.

      The first point to note is that a really "Christian Family" has nothing to do with blood or marriage. The "Christian Family" is one in which the members are related to Jesus Christ, just as the Porizky family is one in which the members are related to me. The true Christian Family is the church.

Our lesson from Ephesians makes that clear. Back in the early days of our faith, there was a serious problem concerning the understanding of who "qualified" to be a part of God's family. The issue then was both blood AND marriage.  And the issue concerned the Jew versus the Gentile.

 

As bad as racial division has been and sometimes remains in modern society, it was even worse back in the time that the apostle Paul wrote this letter to the Ephesian churches. The apostle Paul realized the disastrous consequences of racial divisions, so he wrote to clear up any misunderstanding.

      He began by noting the estrangement Gentiles had previously experienced. A Jewish person at the time of Jesus had as much contempt for the gentile as the rest of the world had for the Jews.  At the time Paul was writing, a good Jew believed that, and I quote, “the Gentiles were created by God to be fuel for the fires of Hell; that God loved only Israel of all the nations that had been made...It was not even lawful for a Jew to render help to a Gentile woman in childbirth for that would be to help bring another Gentile into the world...If a Jew married a Gentile, the funeral of that Jew was carried out...Even to go into a Gentile house rendered a Jew unclean." (from William Barclay’s Commentary on Ephesians) 

 

Yes, Paul knew all about racism in the family of God.

He also knew the absolute segregation between Jew and Gentile in worship; he knew "the dividing wall," as he called it, the barrier in the Temple court, beyond which no Gentile was permitted upon pain of death.  But this good Jew was able to see beyond his tradition and write to the Gentile Christians in Ephesus , "you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household."

 

The power of that statement is lost today.  But imagine a pastor in the largest white church in Mississippi during the civil rights era boldly proclaiming to all the white and black people of the community, “You are my family! There are no barriers between us.  We belong here in this church, worshipping side by side.”

 

If you can understand how radical that statement would have been in 1965, maybe you can begin to understand how much MORE radical were Paul’s words in the first century of Jewish and Gentile relations.  "You are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household."  It was an amazing statement.

Jesus had said as much years before. He said that all who believed were his family: they were his brothers, his sisters.  The only thing that followers of Christ were to see in one another was that here was a person who was related to Jesus - FAMILY! 

      Think of it this way. Are you a child of God? Then every other child of God is your brother or sister, your family. Look around you. The Bible says that, if you are a Christian, these are your family. There are some wonderful folks here, people to whom you would be proud to be related - yes, a few of us are eccentric, but every family has them. That's all right. As we all know, we can choose our friends but we are stuck with our relatives.

 

Just as in the family into which we were born, we are not free to say who should or should not belong. We are in this family together as well, for good or ill.

      What does that mean for us at Saint Andrew Presbyterian? Well, being a member of any family brings with it both privileges and responsibilities. Just as in the home, there are dishes to be washed, grass to be cut, errands to be run - there is work to do. But it is not ALL work - there are ears to listen, tears wiped, hugs given, hurts bandaged. I could not begin to tell you how often I have heard someone say that they would never have been able to survive a particularly trying period without the love and support of their Christian family in the church.

      Because we are a Christian congregation in 2006, there is one huge challenge (which requires three responses) to our living as FAMILY. The challenge centers on the fact that we are a mobile society. Many of you were raised together; many of you were not.  Many, me included, do not come from here. We did not all go to the same schools, shop at the same stores, or root for the same teams.
 

 

That means we do not KNOW one another as we would if our modern society were different. For us, the first response to the challenge is to take extra initiative in simply becoming acquainted. That is one of the reasons we often ask people to wear nametags.  It simply makes it easier for someone to approach you.  Many of you would approach others in the church except that you’ve forgotten their names, and you’d be embarrassed to have to admit that you have forgotten!

      For those of you who know plenty of folks around here, seek out one more...and then one more, and then one more after that. Many people have great difficulty in making new friends. Those of you who find it easy need to go out of your way to help them. For those who do not have enough "Christian Family" here, give yourself more opportunities to become acquainted than just at the beginning or end of worship - that will never do the job.  I was thrilled to learn that the Friday morning mom’s play group had a “Mom’s night out.”  Wonderful!   As has been said, if you want to HAVE a friend, you must first BE a friend.

The second response to the challenge has to do with our getting to know our young people. They are a part of the family, and a particularly vulnerable part. Yes, we live in a mobile society, and our kids travel with us. That means their roots are not as deep as they might have been in previous generations. For young people who are at a vulnerable age as they begin to find their way in the world, the problem is exacerbated.

      You have heard that ancient Chinese blessing, "May you have an interesting life."  Well, our youngsters these days are surely being treated to an "interesting life" - drugs, alcohol, sex, the Internet. If we can help them make their lives a little less "interesting" by providing new roots, new friendships, we should try to do so. Horace Bushnell is reported to have said that the influence of the family is so strong that we never quite get the smell of our childhood home out of our clothes.  

 

 The third response to the challenge is to develop a relationship with the children of the church. When we welcome them in baptism we affirm that they are our family too. Parents stand before us and the Lord and promise to raise their child in "showing them the love of God." Then you promise to help.  When I ask if you will help, you vow, "We will."

 

Finally, in an act that is fraught with symbolism, the loving mother and father hand that new life over - they give the baby to the minister as the representative of the Christian community and, in so doing, say that this child, from the moment those sacred waters dribble down that tiny forehead, has a new and larger family - the family of God.  


      Our days of being responsible for children are never over.  As Robert Fulghum, author of Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Fulghum once said, “Don’t worry that our children aren’t listening to us, worry that they are watching us.”

 

Finally I would add this.  Don’t worry about definitions.  Leave that to God.  Welcome all people of every stripe who walk through our door.  Welcome the Presbyterian, the Protestant.  Welcome the Catholic or the Eastern Orthodox.  But also make room for the Jew or the Hindu.  Leave a seat for the agnostic, and even the atheist.  Paul was never very big on titles.  He once said, “In Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, but all are one in Christ Jesus.”

 

Paul was incredibly unworried about titles.  Perhaps we shouldn’t be worried either either.  After all, there is always room for one more.  People don’t necessarily know Jesus when they walk through the doors of the church.  That’s fine.  What a privilege we then have in showing them Jesus’ family.

 

Our job is to open up the doors and welcome the children of God when they walk in the door. 

 

Rita Snowden tells a poignant story about welcome from World War II.

 

In France some soldiers brought the body of a dead comrade to a cemetery to have him buried. The priest gently asked whether their friend had been a baptized Catholic. The soldiers did not know. The priest sadly informed them that in that case, he could not permit burial in the church yard. So the soldiers dug a grave just outside the cemetery fence. And they laid their comrade to rest.

 

The next day the soldiers came back to add some flowers -- only to discover that the grave was nowhere to be found. Bewildered, they were about to leave when the priest came up to speak to them. It seems that he could not sleep the night before, so troubled was he by his refusal to bury the soldier in the parish cemetery. So early in the morning he left his bed, and with his own hands, he moved the fence.

Amen to that.

 

The Christian Family - the Family of God. I wish I could say that, once the family feeling is established, all will be peaches and cream, but we know that is not true. There are sometimes family feuds - not nice, but that is real life. There are numbskulls in the family, but all families have them. Some will occasionally be angry at this or that decision - it is the same in any household. Some will end up doing a disproportionate amount of the work because someone else has dropped the ball.

 

But the one difference between the family that lives under THIS roof and the one that lives under yours and mine is that the Head of the Household is the God of the entire universe who one day will welcome us all to a brand new heavenly home.

 

That will be a family reunion of epic proportions and a party of great joy for all time.

 

Will you pray with me now?

 

 


St. Andrew Presbyterian Church, Groton , CT

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